Talking to Your Children About Sexuality

         Why is it that some of the hardest topics to talk to our children about are often the most important ones? Even though I don't have any children at this point in my life, I have decided that I want to be able to establish an open connection with them. I want my children to feel that they can tell me anything despite whether or not it will upset me or bring me joy, or if it makes me laugh or cry. It's important to establish a close connection with your children not only for their emotional health but it also provides an open gate to teach them about the "awkward" topics of life such as the "birds and the bees" or "THE talk."

    But here's the thing, many parents don't teach their children about sex and their sexuality. Why? My guess is that many parents find it too awkward to talk about or they expect their school's sex-ed will do the teaching for them. Do you want to know what I learned from "sex-ed?" Basically, all I learned was the name of the female and male genitals (which basically every kid knew by then) and that I have eggs inside of me and guys have sperm. I think we also vaguely talked about STD’s, but I had no chances of getting one because I didn't actually learn how to have sex. The moral of this short story is please don't push this topic aside. If you don't teach your children about sex and their sexuality, they will learn it from other places that are probably not your best resource for sex ed like Tik Tok, YouTube, or Instagram. Which, by the way, social media platforms and the internet are hotspots for pedophiles to take advantage of your children. Don't let some weird 40-year-old teach your 12-year-old about their sexuality.

    How do we begin teaching our children about sexuality? I don't think it should happen all at once, but it should be a continual topic that is taught throughout their childhood. For example, when children are at a young age where they begin to put names to objects, this can be a starting point to teach them the proper names for their body parts. As they reach pre-teen age, we can talk to them about the changes that will or have started happening with their bodies that occur for sexual development. These are just a few examples of how to approach teaching sexuality. 

    In addition to that, pay attention when you notice the topic of the conversion is turning and/or questions arise about sexuality and sex. Don't be hesitant to teach them at that moment when they are curious to learn. I'm not an expert or even a parent at this point, but if you listen to your children you will find many unexpected opportunities to teach them. 

    Sexuality is a complex subject and topic in which I still have much to learn about in order to help my children. I didn't even touch on the LGBT community and the different sexual orientations are associated with it, but I want to include teaching my children about the LGBT community and their history as well. Despite my children’s sexual orientations, I feel that it is a part of my responsibility as a parent to teach them about the different sexual identities to help them become better educated on how to respect other people’s sexual differences. If I want to teach my children about respect for other people’s religions and cultures, why should I hold back from teaching them about the different types of sexual orientations? But that is just my opinion. 

    Whatever your opinion may be on sexuality, I think we should take the time now to become better educated on this subject to help not only our families but ourselves! We are sexual beings after all. There are many great resources out there that we have, and we should take the time to properly learn about it.