Stay-At-Home Mothers

    Due to the circumstances of my family, I grew up with a mother that worked full-time in order to help provide for our family. Every weekday, my mom would leave a pot of food in the kitchen with a handwritten note for my siblings and me. I didn't really notice how little I saw my parents because I would be gone from school for the majority of the day and often kept myself busy with the internet. 

    When I started hanging out with other people, I began to notice the differences between their family and my family. Some of them had stay-at-home mothers which was such a foreign concept to me. What did they do all day? My youthful mind was curious to know why they chose to stay-at-home and how they could afford it. 

    It's probably a combination of both nurture and nature, but I'm the type of person that enjoys working. Even though the entry-level jobs I have had (and still have today) cause a lot of stress, I still like putting in my full effort as an employee and find satisfaction at fulfilling my responsibilities. I feel that having a job helps me get out of the house and gives me at least one thing to accomplish for that day. 

   During our engagement, my husband and I talked about our expectations for us as parents. I expressed to him how I wanted to work throughout the period of us having children. However, I also expressed my negative outlook on stay-at-mothers. The lifestyle of a stay-at-mothers seemed boring and dreadful to me. The idea of staying at home to do chores, clean, cook, and take care of the kids all day seemed like hell to me. I truly believed that this lifestyle degraded women and their potential.  

    When I had expressed my feelings on this topic to my husband (fiancé at the time), he listened carefully and then brought up the fact that his own mother stayed at home. I admit that I felt very sheepish for bashing the lifestyle of stay-at-home mothers when he was raised by one, but this humbled me to listen better to my husband's opinion. He shared how he enjoyed being able to have his mother at home and seeing her after school. He also asked me if we would rather have our children raised by ourselves or by someone else. I've never asked myself this question before, but it got me thinking about the possibility of me staying at home to watch our children. 

    I recently read an article that talked about a woman that supported half of her and her husband's income. Because she supported a big portion of their income, she knew that from looking at the numbers that she had to continue working when they had her first child. However, she felt compelled by God to put her child first and withhold from working. She and her husband learned to cut their budget in half and made it work. 

    This woman ended up writing a book about her budgeting experience and actually found that some mothers that work part-time hardly end up saving any money at all. When mothers choose to work, they often need to pay for childcare or a babysitter to watch the kids. Along with that, working mothers tend to spend more money on paying for convenience foods rather than home-cooked meals because they have less time at home to cook. However, I bring this point not to bash working mothers (because sometimes your circumstances require both partners to work) but rather to show that it is possible to have a partner stay home full-time even if it seems improbable. 

    After reading this article, I've given more thought to becoming a stay-at-home mom. I've learned to respect these types of mothers because it a lot of heart and selflessness to become a full-time nurturer and homemaker. I still have a desire to work as a mother, but perhaps I will hold off until all of our children have started school so I can work while they're gone. I'm still not sure what to do, but I know that staying at home as a mother and working are both respectful choices. But I am definitely more open to the possibility of staying at home if financially possible... but who knows what the future hold for us?